SomebodysAngel

One word spoken in hushed remorse, a fatal breath.
Afraid to look and see your ocean eyes
Starved of sun and frozen, I hold my breath.
My chosen word was as a knife that eased the breath
From your lungs and left you cold,
No longer could a smile catch your breath,
No longer could 
I catch your breath.
I'd snatched away our chance at forever
Slashed, Ripped, torn from grasp, was our forever,
And now you would not spare a tear, a word...a breath
For the girl who broke your heart;
For the monster who has no heart.
 
In every raw crevasse, every fracture of your heart
Was the agony inflicted by my careless worded breath,
I longed to fix it, turn back time to save your heart,
To change what I had done and never sabotage your heart.
But the pain that I had etched behind such perfect eyes,
I knew would sentence me to separation from your heart.
A pain less than I deserved was echoed in my heart,
Dislodged me from the world and left me aching from the cold.
Once you would've saved me from the bitterness of cold...
A lead weight in my stomach that may have been my heart.
A knowing that I'd broken what I'd hoped would last forever.
A knowing that I'd broken what you'd hoped would be forever.
 
You finally turned a silence, that could have been forever,
Into words that sliced through bone and clenched a fist around my heart,
Even knowing that I'd lost you now forever,
Even knowing that I'd be nothing now forever,
Your words, a cruel master's hand, still choked the breath
From undeserving lungs, forever
And willed my bones to ache forever.
But instinct saved me from the pain that climaxed in your eyes,
And forced a towering wave of crimson to crash behind my eyes,
A seething mass of rage that didn't care about 'forever',
A force that left me vulnerable no longer to your cold,
My towering tsunami left me numb to biting cold.
 
You'd turned to leave, to let me suffer in the cold,
To turn your back on my small world and be without 'forever',
But the butterflies residing in my stomach were not cold,
Evolved and bestial their instincts shielded them from cold,
With teeth and frantic beating wings they seized my heart,
And tore me inside out to leave me in your cold,
And I knew I'd earned their torture when I chose cold
and thoughtless paths to take; when lies became my breath.
When I'd kissed him I'd not needed breath...
I screamed at you my anger, but screaming left me cold,
I grabbed you, tried to keep you, tried to see into your eyes,
But my anger left me helpless as I saw into those eyes.
 
I let you walk away and force the tears to my eyes,
Only then shivering and spent, did I truly feel cold.
Sliced up. Broken. I had no place in loving eyes.
Torn apart. Weeping. Never again to see those eyes.
I was deserving of a life without forever,
I had stolen light from the brightest eyes
and left them dark.
I'd loved your ocean eyes...
Lonely, nursing the remains of my sinful heart,
Deserving, was the smouldering wreckage of my heart.
But you didn't deserve this, didn't earn those empty eyes.
I'd given myself to a stranger for an instant, for a breath.
I'd lost my sunbathed ocean in that instant...in that breath.
 
I curled into a useless ball and held my breath,
Longing for another glimpse of ocean eyes,
Deserving of the chill that left me cold,
Knowing you were lost to me forever.
I: The beast without a heart.

The End

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