i never wanted to
but the chaos outside would not compare with what was
neither were they related
i remember your touch
like lightning bugs
mine was a comfortable chaos
yours was different, you'd felt things
felt thunder on skin
felt ice as warmth
felt the thoughts behind your eyes
things that i could not hope to understand
but the feeling was mutual.
everything is not connected!
eventually, we reached agreement
or at least, acceptance
we did not have the time for anything more.
thieves slipped in and out of our shadows
playing with the sight of nothing
and soon, nothing became something.
a very small something, but Something was there.
nothing became something became thoughts became senses became coincidences became consequences became
oh, and what glorious cities they were!
they lit up the world and hid the darkness behind their smiles
distracting from the secret things
the stolen thoughts lurking behind every corner, every crevice, in every shadow, there they are.
they are lonely.
i am here &
i am alone &
i need your unsteady stability but you are gone &
you are far away
away from my city, where the lightning will have all their secrets.
i have to find you
the whispers shouted louder than words the things we should have told each other.
frightful things, careful things, nonsensical things
things that you would not dare to bring into the light,
and i would not care to
when i saw you, standing on the ocean frills, the wind in your bones and sunshine in your hair, you told me
you told me everything I never wanted to know and
you told me a heart can only beat until it stops and
you cannot take something and make it the opposite of what it is and
you have a thousand stories and
the endings are all the same
my still-beating heart broke
but I followed you.
you took me to the edge of the world
and said it was not the first time you had been there.
you told me you often came when thinking about how you felt there was nothing to hold on to
nothing to stop you
i held onto you then
you took my still-beating heart and threw it from the edge
but it was still yours.
but it still followed.
we accepted that.
we strode to the top of the tallest point and stumbled down the other side
the wind grew, and it threatened to sweep you away
i wouldn't let it.
the problem is, you loved the road more than you ever loved me
so i should not have been surprised.
when the storm comes, all will be swept away, leaving
only the gathering seas