a year ago
i rid myself of poison.
she called me ugly, called me fat
and while i may not be the most
fucking attractive person in this world
my self-worth is not that low
and that forced me to clean myself up
and piece back together the shattered fragments
that remained of my self-esteem
i don't care if i look like a lump,
at least i'm a happy one.
my eyes turn skywards,
but you're still staring at the dirt
trying to come up with a comeback
i feel sorry for you,
because you're 5 years older than me
and just as lonely
but i will not be your punching bag.
i will not let myself be used to make you feel better
i am not here to have the stuffing ripped out of me
that is not my purpose
so maybe it's time to
draw resources from yourself for once
i didn't tell my sister or my mother,
i'm not stupid.
she was a shitty friend
and i shouldn't have let her draw me in
but i'm not pretty
and i'm okay with that
i should have listened to my gut feeling
because it twists every now and again
and i can't help but thinking of betrayal