New York

every time i see her i remember it.
every time i hear new york i remember what we had
what she felt like
sleeping
hugging my arm
what it was like when she said she thinks she likes me
admitted it a bit
and then what she said
to me
when she said sorry
and i told her it wasn't her fault
it was mine
and it was mine
because thats what i do
i shouldn't have let that happen
and if i weren't so stupid
as to assume she would enter my world
MY world
my perfect world
little world
burning it the world
dammit
she would enter it
and she would love me too
like i would love her
I gave up
all hope
and attractio
to every other being
when i realized I loved her
and only her
and that I would want to do anything to protect
her
even jump infront of a bus
or dive into a pool
I would do it for her to see her safe. and I can't do that
I can't protect her it isn't my job
and she won't let me
and she will go away
and I'll be alone
and she won't remmeber what it is
ad I'll walk aroundhte school
and see her
and she won't say hi
or anything
and I'll remember
the stupid things i've done
and how much i miss her
and wish the gun on my dresser were real
so that I could fianlly
once and forall forget
but i would never be able to do it
because I wouldn't let her be the cause of my death
after she was the reason i chose to live

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