the night I won't remember

the crescent moon wanes,

a sliver in the sky

a skinny grin

as if someone up there

is smiling.


I burst 

through your door,

stumbling, clumsily declaring

my irrational adoration

for you,

and then collapsed upon your bed.

You lay down beside me,

and draped an arm around my trembling body.

As I gazed up at your face,

I saw a secret smile grow,

like a full moon in reverse,

and then fade,

as you kissed me.

With my head upon your chest,

I silently confessed

I've been waiting three months

for this moment.

But as I listened to your heart

beat, beat, beat,

I knew it was aching,

and not for me.

"This doesn't have to mean

anything

if you don't want it to." I said.

You replied

in long, drawn out pauses,

finally asking if I wanted to smoke.


Outside,

snowflakes as big as cherry blossoms

spun down from the moon,

clung to my eyelashes, 

and soaked through my shoes.

I longed to tell you

it was okay.

You didn't need to need me

in the same way I have dreamed about you

so many nights.

As we walked up the stairs,

you wrapped your arms around me

and I melted into you

knowing that this would be the last

and only time

you held me.

And the moon became a slit, and then shut its eyes,

as I kissed your secret smile

for the last time.

I have to be alright.

I have to be alright.

The End

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