The long living effect of a guyMature

I feel worthless sometimes.

Maybe I should've stayed up.

Maybe I should've worn a bra.

Because now,

I can't stand for anyone to see 

Any part of me.

His hands groping Me.

My body is not mine anymore.

Its not mine to give,

Or too look at.

I don't want to see,

Where he touched me.

I don't want anyone to know,

That someone's brother,

Could kill them.

Not physically.

But since that night,

I've lost all self-respect and self esteem.

My clothes no longer feel

Like my armor.

No longer a second skin,

That only I may Peel off.

The world is no longer mine.

I feel like a stupid child. 

Jumping at sounds,

And crying when someone reaches for me.

I'm scared.

No one knows.

I'm scared.

Every morning I attempt,

To burn his lingering touch off

My skin. 

But it won't GO. 

And I want to trust someone enough,

For them to hold me.

And tell Me not to be scared.

But I'm scared,

To let anyone that close.

I sleep with my grandmother.

I know it's stupid, 

But I fear.

He will come back and get me.

I fear he's only hours away,

When I fall asleep.

And if I doze,

Ill awake to find him next to me.

I have nightmares.

Him coming to my house.

I'm scared .

And sometimes I feel death itself would be a relief.

The End

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