The Ice Queen Turns Into the Air Queen

let us forgive and move on - we were creatures of pain and darkness, and now it is time to patch ourselves up an move on - or at least to try our best.
i do not forget my grievances against you - you can be mean, and you have been. but i am recovering. and hating you hurts me more than it hurts you.
so i'm going to rename you - i will start a new chapter in my life.

god knows we've had our issues. 
that we've cried and screamed,
that i have been hurt so much. 

it doesn't stop hurting. 
that, i will tell you.

but my heart does not stop beating
because i am feeling any measure of pain. 
my body still thrums with blood,
my hands still move to type, 
my legs still carry me forwards.

i am stronger than the girl you take me for. 
i have seen low points you can only imagine, 
my concealer covers my insomnia. 
my bones do not rest with you, my sister. 

that is fine. 
but i just ask that you know
that i will most likely end up teaching in some
over-crowded tiny public school, 
trying to make a living where there is none. 

i don't think you see the branding of sadness
that has adorned my forehead for far longer
than my anger was a revelry. 

i can see your face in pictures with us together
and you have the expression you never let me see -
love, fondness, happiness, whatever you wish to name it

but how dare you hide that from me. 
my emotions are not trivial, 
how dare you make me believe
that i am worthless just because you
could not bring yourself to admit you loved me. 

you're gone and i am not sorry. 
but i can forgive. never forget. 
for a while now, you have been
branded the Ice Queen. 

it has been a name that fit, 
and a name that persevered 
throughout the ages of my frustration. 

you, my sister, were an Ice Queen.

but i am being generous, so now,
instead of a name that screams of coldness
and arctic cruelty and emotional starvation, 
i give you a new one, a more pleasant one. 

you can be something light now. 
you are far away, i cannot become so 
easily angered with you now.
distance works against our arguments. 

it is not that you are nicer, 
merely that i am stronger. 
i am strong enough to 
forgive you now. 

so, i give you a new name for a 
new beginning to my view of you.

my sister, 
you can be the Air Queen.

The End

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