I find myself here again,
With the same Christians as last time.
Four studies have passed since Day One,
And I'm just as uncomfortable as before.
I never really say much,
And they've started to notice.
Today, the lead speaks,
And tells us that in order to become closer,
We are to share our testimonies,
About our lives with God as our guide.
I can stall for a few days, and let the other ten group members speak first.
Maybe they'll forget about me.
Hopefully they'll forget about me.
A blonde beauty with ocean blue eyes,
Begins to speak.
She tells us about her struggles with school,
With a father who isn't the best,
But he's still there.
She tells us that God has kept her strong,
Kept her grateful.
Everyone is listening intently,
And she finishes with telling us about how happy she is,
How thankful she is that God loves her like she does Him.
More people talk after her,
And I'm just thinking about when my turn will be.
Do I lie,
Telling my group how much I love Him?
Or do I tell them that I am an Atheist?
How will they react?
My thoughts shake me.