Meet Thunder MacBlunder, who once underwent
a careless, calamitous car accident,
when upon hearing thunder, he slammed it and gunned'er
and rammed into a gutter and a wall of cement.
Oh the gutter was bent and the car had some dents,
but that's nothing t'what Thunder's been suffering since.
As by a god's curse, be it Thor, or one worse,
poor Thunder was struck by a tempest of torments.
As soon as he opened his mouth to lament,
a thunderous wail of loud shouting was sent
shrieking shrilly, so shrilly that one could but wonder,
and misunderstand what ole' Thunder had meant.
From that moment hence, every utterance he utters
is bellowed at volumes that plunder right under
the drums of the ears of the victim who hears
the horrible howl of the hollering Thunder.
So patrons, beware! of God's booming-est blunder,
this Thunder, the clamorous, glamorous wonder!
Don't stifle your cheers, but do cover your ears,
lest your brain and your bowels be bellowed asunder!