They Could Never UnderstandMature

life burns and love hurts,
like a knife to the gut
castrated and left bleeding,
abandoned by the heartless concrete
of stone cold society,
love is not what keeps me warm at night.

the arms of strangers hold me,
make me feel like I'm meant for much more,
meant to have worth.
makes me feel in control,
there,with them, I feel like I have a choice-
I make my own decisions,
live in the rush,
I live in the moment,
live in their arms.

I just dont know how to feel
safe with vulnerabilities laid bare,
hide in my converse,
piercings, and skinny jeans,
drugs and alcohol,
sweaty bodies and heat,
my walls so high,
no handholds to climb.

I cower in the past,
too afraid to face the light,
I hate the way that it exposes
the lines in my face,
hate how it shows the fear in my eyes,
hate that they world can see me as I am,
because I know that they'll never understand,
the things that I've done,
the things that I've seen,
they would never be able to protect
the scared little girl that makes me.

The End

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