The Cruel Game

just venting

Your beautiful

I'm so proud of you

words I've longed to hear you say

though it will never happen quite this way

Every attempt at winning your approval, was often shunned

For six years I stupidly searched for your face in the crowd

Concerts, sports; I'd try anything to make you proud

I couldn't gain your affections so I sought to gain you attention

I lost myself. I stole, I drank and at school faced suspension

At nineteen I had gotten pregnant

You were neither happy nor mad

Maybe it would open your eyes to all that you had

It didn't happen right away, but you came around slowly...

You took me shopping, took me to fancy places

It was your time spent on me that I cherished

Happy as can be

We joked we kid

bounded like fathers and daughters did

I felt whole, complete at once

But you all too often forgot me

Time after time

Broken promise, after broken promise

I got married, you were going to be there, of that I was sure

I had it all planned out in my mind

You'd take my arm and tell me how beautiful I was

You never showed that day

I kept it together, but I think I died anyway

I have people who love me

They wish things upon you that I can't even say

But I'm stupid and this you know

It's the game you and I play

You came around again last week

You dropped some money on me, and bought me anything I wanted

I took a picture of us immortalizing my happiness

Because I knew a little better this time

Even so, when you told me you needed your space

I thought back to the stupid smile on my face

I know I'm done this time for good

I'd prefer a hollow place in my chest, than a knife through my heart

Someday you'll learn about love,you will hate yourself

You will absolutely fall apart

But those words I've been waiting to hear, I tell my child everyday

I hope it serves you to know that I'm not not entirely broken

Only educated from the cruel games I let you play

The End

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