Something real. Í've decided (oh weird accent wtf) to write from 'the heart', yo. In all seriousness, this poem is just about the struggles I've had with my father and how I like him sometimes, but honestly, he can be SO much of a douchebag. It's not just me being some whiny angsty teen, but he really is a dick to not just me but others as well, and although I do like him sometimes, it's just.....complicated.
I’m conflicted by this error of likeness,
I twist and turn,
Unable to release myself from your ghostly grasp
Amidst the chaos, I think I see a spark
But as I near myself to it,
It vanishes into sprinkles of ethereal dust
We used to have good times,
We used to sit in the park and you’d rock me on the swings,
Legs lifting above your head as you run through and grin back at me
We went to the beach
Which was four hours away,
But you took me for the sheer fun of it. You wanted me to enjoy life. I miss you,
I’m in a black hole,
Darkness and seclusion closes in.
As I turn further and further into the darkness,
I wait for your hand to pull me out,
Forgetting that it was you that pushed me in
Your smile is infectious, but your frown taunts me.
And I want to live like a normal family,
I want to love you. I want to hold you. I want to pretend to hate you but secretly know that I love you
Love is not a passive thing. I can’t call this love
As I hide away, I lock the door so your other side can cease to find me.