The Big Fall/ Eitan Schulman
He shuffled around the room.
His fists rummaging around his pockets as if looking,
anxiously, for some spare change.
His sleepy, dreary, anxious eyes flinching and almost shutting.
His tuxedo open and the bow tie open and hanging from the collar.
"How could I have done it?" he thinks to himself over and over again.
The images run through his head like the subway train cars.
"BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM, BOOM"
"BOOM, BOOM, BOOM"
Like a crazy slideshow out of control.
"How could I have lost control like that?" his thoughts hit him, throbbing, itching at his very core.
He paces the room crazily like a wild animal.
Now quicker, quicker, crazier, crazier.
A knock at the door. Jack stops pacing. Stands. Still. Stunned.
Is it her? Could it be her?
Jack walks to the eye hole, hold his breath. Looks and takes a step back.
It's all over. Another knock. Tremor. Another knock, this time louder, louder. Tremor.
Jack's eyes red, bulging out of his sockets, like a deer, waiting to be shot.
Might as well open the door. Jack does.
"Jackie boy," Mama says, "how many times did Tat'e rehearse the Dvar Torah with you? What for? Nebech! What for, I ask!"
Falling to his knees, Jack cries, "I'm sorry Mama, the pressure, the pressure was too much for me! I stumbled, I fell, Mama, I fell!"
"We still love you Jackie boy," Mama says, tears edging in to the corners of her eyes. "We will always love you!"