jack and jill and that stupid hill

I'm here to set the record straight

About this Jack and his woman, Jill

The rumours flying round, of late

Point to the fact that they're both ill.


Well I work up at the rehab place

I just wash dishes and clean the floors.

But this means nobody sees my face

And when my work's done I listen at doors.


Jack, it seems, is a roaring drunk

And his girl Jill is nearly as bad

Once, long ago, he was quite the hunk

But the booze stole away the looks he had.


Jill had a high-flying job, in sales,

With all the promise to reach the top.

Quite sought-after by all the males

Till her love of the bottle made that all stop.


Jack lost his job – he was always late

And Jill called her boss a terrible name.

Now she slobs around at home with her mate.

Every day of their lives is just the same.


They would spend all day in their dirty pit

Just drinking and shouting from dawn till night

The pair of them were completely unfit

And most of the time they looked a fright.


Last week they went on a shopping spree

To that brand new mall called ''The Hill''

What happened there - well, take it from me -

Was the end for Jack and Jill.


They were walking home from the shopping trip

With a case of old Jack D.

When Jill fell down and bruised her hip

And poor Jack wrenched his knee.


The doctors said ''Now, that's enough!

You two both once were fab.

We have to get you off this stuff.''

And sent them both straight to rehab.



The End

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