I'm here to set the record straight
About this Jack and his woman, Jill
The rumours flying round, of late
Point to the fact that they're both ill.
Well I work up at the rehab place
I just wash dishes and clean the floors.
But this means nobody sees my face
And when my work's done I listen at doors.
Jack, it seems, is a roaring drunk
And his girl Jill is nearly as bad
Once, long ago, he was quite the hunk
But the booze stole away the looks he had.
Jill had a high-flying job, in sales,
With all the promise to reach the top.
Quite sought-after by all the males
Till her love of the bottle made that all stop.
Jack lost his job – he was always late
And Jill called her boss a terrible name.
Now she slobs around at home with her mate.
Every day of their lives is just the same.
They would spend all day in their dirty pit
Just drinking and shouting from dawn till night
The pair of them were completely unfit
And most of the time they looked a fright.
Last week they went on a shopping spree
To that brand new mall called ''The Hill''
What happened there - well, take it from me -
Was the end for Jack and Jill.
They were walking home from the shopping trip
With a case of old Jack D.
When Jill fell down and bruised her hip
And poor Jack wrenched his knee.
The doctors said ''Now, that's enough!
You two both once were fab.
We have to get you off this stuff.''
And sent them both straight to rehab.