The Almost Mother

A mood I can’t remember the cause of.

The unconscious tears,

unexplained darkness, unravelling

sanity.

Suddenly distraught,

at the briefest of reprieve

I had forgotten you.

I should have remembered.

A year.

Those unreasonable tears

and despair belonged to you.

Our child.

I woke up knowing, that Saturday morning,

that you had gone.

A memory of before, the last loss.

Blaming myself over and over.

So stupid. Fragile.

I should have known.

Thrown away after the pain of your leaving.

Son or Daughter?

The question aching inside of me.

No funeral

although the grief was palpable.

So early, a dot, I couldn’t find you.

A dot. Full stop.

 

The End

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