The Ache of Longing

Memories
   of sunshiny days
      are fleeting
they pass
   in a blur of ecstatic haste
      and they leave behind
         the bitter taste of
            longing
The touch
   once remembered
      so familiar
         has lost its anchor
            its tether  -  nebulous
Letting go
   (merely two words)
      meaningless
         well-meaning
but the task?
   Impossible
I search for you
   in the nooks and crannies
      of what remains
         to find you
to hold you near to me
   once again
Hoping - always
   that you
      knew know
         feel felt
my love
   because it is was always
      never-ending
         end-less
as the hurt I feel
   the ache inside me
      the pain that I bury
         the memories I revisit
            the regrets I harbor
I miss the moments
   I missed
      I see the time
         for the sand that it is-was
            always-has been
And I know where wisdom lives
   buried in the tears
      of the sorrowful
         in the remorse
            if the guilty
               in the love
of mom and dad
My soul is become
    at once
      pensive and restless
         teetering on the precipice
of the nether
   sniffing the ether for clues
      searching for a place
         between here and gone
            between heaven and earth
I see you
   in the eyes of my children
      in the songs we sang
         and I try to rejoice
            for the lessons I’ve learned
the hope
   that the me that I am
      is the proud that you were
But it’s always in the still of the night
   when the moon glows brightly
      through the blinds
         that I long to hear your voice
            to listen to the advice
I ignored
   to cherish
      everything I took for granted
         I breath deeply
            I close my eyes
and there is your smile
   and I remember
      the happiest days I’ve known
         because you were there
to share them.

The End

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