Damn Dogs

Cat litter is not food, Joshua.

I’m hungry too, but I can wait. 

I wait, and eat things that smell good and have never had poop in them.

And yes, Naomi, I know that you need to pee.

I need to pee too, but do you see me peeing on the floor?


Because that’s not where we go pee.

We wait for me to open the door and let us outside.

But right now we’re watching Ninja Warrior, and Shingo Yamamoto is up next.

So sit tight and hold your pee.

And Joshua, if you don’t leave that litter box alone, you’re going straight to the crate.

Because there’s no excuse for that.

You’re freakin’ two years old... Act like it.

What is it about cat poop that DOESN’T smell like poop to you?


And Barnabas, dude...

You just stay right there, cuddled in your blanket, asleep.

Gooooood kitty.

Keep on not bothering me. Thanks. You rock.

Go Shingo!

The End

38 comments about this poem Feed