It has been ten years since you left me
And I'm starting to forget.
I can't quite picture your face anymore
Not with the detail I once did.
The things that used to remind me of you
Have got new memories attached now
And the things that I kept of yours
Have been pushed to the back of the shelves and drawers.
Some days I don't think of you at all
And it kills me to admit that but its true.
I wonder what you would think of me now?
Would you be proud?
Would you be ashamed?
Would you love me now?
I'm learning things about you that I never knew before
And that scares me because it reminds me that I never really knew you at all.
I never really got the chance.
I didn't use the chance I had.
When you left I was a little girl with no regrets or mistakes.
How things have changed!
Now I'm still a little girl, but I can inflict pain
And now I know exactly what pain is.
It has been ten years since I lost you, ten years since I was whole.
I have changed and grown so much since then
But I still miss you with every fibre of my being
And my biggest regret is that I never got to tell you that I loved you.
I'm sorry mum.