The teacher taught; The pupils never bought the notion. Now distraught, he Slammed the door, Stomped the floor, Seeing red.
The noise, the Whole commotion, Brought the Head.
‘You need your bed - you're full o' drink! ' He boomed. ‘Cripes! ' the teacher cried - A stink of booze across the room - ‘You mean that I'm denied My nightly bottle, comfy whisky? I'll have to throttle naughty you. Risky, true - To see you dead! '
By now the kids had left the room - Smoking - drunk - singing in the bogs. ‘Annoying little dogs! ' Our teacher screamed, Dropping the Head - His face completely cyanotic, The situation now chaotic.
‘Now that'll do, ' the teacher laughed. ‘I might be daft, but I'm alive To preach again - surviving those vicissitudes of life: The challenges; laying down the Lessons to the brats - I'm the boss, they're the rats! Give ‘em strife! I'll make ‘em take exams Throughout the night - what a fright They'll have. But first I'll round ‘em up to To shift the Head.'
They dumped him in the garden shed Behind the mower And other paraphernalia Used to keep the grounds in order. The kids were good - no disorder While they did the master's evil deed.
The teacher smiled; he'd been freed From persecution, diminution Of his rank: a lowly grade of scholar. ‘Thank you, pupils, what an honour, Now the Head has gone, But now I have to see to your Extinction too. After all, you Never listen - never do! And so it's time for you to earn A just reward - a trip to Hell! '
However, the kids were luckily saved - Yes, you guessed - the clanging bell that Ended period two. Depraved and Sweating like a pig, the teacher Froze - took a swig anew of gin - The Deputy Head was coming over: Teacher had to wipe him out As well!
The pupils took advantage: scampered, Screaming.
Finely poised, the Deputy Crooned: ‘What's the meaning, Teacher-? And where's the Head, suspicious creature? Answers came from Teacher's cane - The heavy-duty rod was in attack - Poor old Deputy staggered back - A massive blow had bruised him badly.
Sadly, as he fell, he bashed his skull Upon the ground - and that is where The janitor found his body - What a sight - pitifully shoddy!
But then the pupils cottoned on: Should they call upon the staff To see the teacher one-to-one, The kids would end up having fun, Since all the school would have to close, As all the staff would come to blows with Psycho-Sam - The name the kids had given to this Strange demented man.
So that is what they did - The faculty, sequentially, Exterminated; The kids were rid of staff and Free to roam, though The teacher lost all interest and Drove himself back home.
Knocking back a litre bottle of gin, he Sung a song about the sin Committed - emitting a din - And what grin - hideous! He even wondered where he'd been Upon that brutal day.
Back at school, in disarray, The kids were happily psyched again, Smoking funny cigs, or eyeing adult flicks - It's how they got their kicks! At least they weren't a bane To any staff - What a laugh!