Tattered Clothes

There are things I've wanted to say

They have gathered dust in my frozen mind

Have been locked up, all into one day

One memory, That each time is declined.

As clocks strike on the time to begin

To air out these thoughts like old tattered clothes 

I let the memories and feelings boil under my skin 

Reawaken, that hurt I disposed.

*

I breathe

*

I want you to see inside my head

How feeling still sits under each thought

I want you to feel how my hearts dead

How the beat stutters, fails, starts then is caught.

I want to tell you, I've told a lie every single day 

Since when the leaves tumbled to fall last year

How I start in the morning with "It's fine, I'm OK"

And how I end each night with "At least I'm still here" 

*

You know something, you never held my hand

when we were walking together down the street 

Each naive kiss had to be infinitely planned

And even then you still managed to make me fall at your feet

Because you wanted the person I was

The little girl who was kind in my head

No one had noticed her before because

She had a habit of hiding underneath the bed 

*

You always wanted me to be by your side

Even when I was Ill or upset

Not one time, had I ever lied 

Until I said that you would be easy to forget 

I've lost count of all those who've failed 

To fill your all star black, size ten trainer 

Each attempt I've thrown and derailed 

In love, I can act, I can be an entertainer

*

But theres no air in my lungs

When I see you happy without me

Everyone is speaking in tongues

When they say you've moved on can't they see.

I'd be like new clean air, 

Filling your hopes like only teenagers can 

Into your intentions and words I'd never cold stare

In my head It's this perfect simple plan....

***

We'd get it right this time

I'm different now.....I swear.....

Please realise while were still in our prime

Because my hopes begun to wear...

*

I've waited a year for your crooked grin

And I've waited a year to finally hold your hand 

I've waited a year to ask where your heads been 

And I've waited a year to be able to stand

*

A year I've waited to let you know....

that I waited all this time......for you to...

See the signs of this wait I'd never willingly show...

Because Darling, I Still Love You. 

The End

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