I do not completely, and in every way fear you –
Not in the way that he threw a curse upon me to;
I still get turned on by that appeal, so real and true;
A truth he tried to forever warp up with shades of black and blue.
I’m not so afraid of you – that I have no tendencies, no intrigue;
My body yearns for good sex to magically collide with me;
My brain gradually accepts and digests my life’s reality;
It’s a string of unknown variables: somehow bound to my own destiny.
Some of the sights in a mirror – won’t let my eyes truly perceive;
Along with so many pieces of my own history,
I’m a toddler again without a single receive to believe;
My environment feels so profoundly abstract and obscene.
The good and the bad – patches of skin: paisley and plaid;
I spent so many teardrops that I now wish I still had;
To cry for the real things that stab at my womb and kick my head –
There will be plenty of time to be a “hostage” after I’m dead.
Unrealistic, sadistic, chauvinistic lovers –
Sociopathic in the street and Psychopathic in the covers
my, my... my position in the dark-lit corner;
Not really caring if you ever make the stroll over –
I survived the same as anyone reading this, the same as anyone else alive;
I can only convey the things that my spirit and soul might imply;
I have accepted the truth and jumped over the side;
welcoming the Unknown through a perfected swan dive.