Wild Ride (Noah's Ark)

I went back some of the stories that you hear in Sunday school, and decided to write poems that depict them in new and interesting ways. I will always stay true to the real story though.

40 days, 960 hours, 57,600 minutes, or 3.456 million seconds!

No matter what way you measure it, the fact remains that this voyage has gone on for long enough,

And this animal has long since had enough of it!

While I did dodge death by drowning by fleeing to this floating fortress,

I’m beginning to feel like I fell into the fire and not the frying pan.

 

I have bared the heated air for over a month.

And I’ve come to realize the cold reality;

A continuous ruckus characterizes this crazy boat ride.

A raging cacophony constantly releasing a chaotic rain that reigns over the confusion and raises Cain.

 

With each passing day, melodramatic dramas depicting dramatic disputes and dramatized debates are dramatically produced, starring my thousands of new crewbeasts (give or take ten or so),

Each one of them tries to steal both the spotlight and my sanity.

I’d be lyin’ if I said I hadn’t considered unleashing my top secret toxic talon on my many annoyances more than a few time.

I’m serious; this place would drive any beast rabid, this barrage of dissonant sounds surrounding me!

 

For starters, there’s bound to be a bovine or bird around, griping about why the two-legged animals have the most pairs, even though they have more pairs compared to us.

Then you have the hibernators who with their intoxicating whine about their sleep apnea problems give every beast a hangover headache.

 

But wait, there’s more!

In addition to the constant complaining, you also get to throw in a ton of the classic conflicts, massive mishaps and horrible habits the battalion of beasts on board has brought!

 

For example, while it rains cats and dogs (adult kittens and puppies?) outside,

The two categories of the creatures in question continue to clash again and again,

Since the canines think they are the coolest cats, but the felines believe their kind is the top dog,

And the possibility of the evolution of an eventual resolution is nonexistent.

 

And in other news, the elephants have been on a stampede throughout this ark.

My sources have said they are looking for a big hole to hide in from the little people.

According to eyewitness reports, the mice accidentally mistook the pachyderms’ nostrils for mouse holes once.

And no matter how hard the elephant try to escape the traumatic memory they just can’t seem to forget the experience.

 

Don’t even get me started on those bottomless pits called swine,

All they do is sleep, snort, and pig out practically all the time.

 

The only aspect of the ark all us animals agree on is that we are all tired of stale food those two-legs stored for us.

Since they seem to be the ship’s commandants, we cannot retaliate.

However, that hasn’t prohibited the carnivores from complaining about their craving for carnal nourishment.

The rest of us vegetarians are very nervous as we value our lives.

Me, I am praying that the birds of prey only eye me from afar, for I have felt their stares boring down on me.

To many of them, I exist only as a link in their survival, in the chain of events ordained as “the natural order.”

 

As I endure the insanity of the ship, I often wonder:

Why God, I ask, was I rescued from the fatal flood outside, only to struggle in this terrifying torrent of chaos?

Please, what possible part in Your perfect plan can a platypus play?

I’m probably the oddity of oddities of all mammals.

I have a duck-bill and webbed-feet.

My kids are born in eggs and grow up in a pouch in my stomach!

And to top it all off, I’ve got the tail of those buck-toothed beavers!

 

Despite my ponderings about my purpose, the only thing I can do is live on, on this pleasure-void cruise.

Since I’m here, that means I was worth enough to be spared the world’s watery fate, doesn’t it?

And just as the doves love their olive branches,

I know I can find peace in something…eventually.

But until I am victorious in my search, I’ll brave the brutal bustle of this boat and survive this wild ride.

 

The End

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