It's like this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach.
You'd think I'd be used to it by now, but each letdown hurts more than the one before.
Can't take this anymore.
It's not worth it.
I'm worth more than it.
I feel like I can't be sure anymore.
I feel like maybe, just maybe (and I'm just pitching ideas here) is this what I deserve?
Is this what I'm worth?
Why do I keep finding the people destined to hurt me?
Why does this keep happening?
I know there must be something.
I know God's got something more for me.
I just don't know what yet. And that hurts too. Not knowing.
Sometimes I just wish there was a clear path, a clear understanding to what's gonna happen.
But then some days I'll take that wish back.
Isn't the unexpected better than the expected?
Isn't the unknown what we live for?
The idea of searching and finding, searching and failing, searching and success.
If only if only success spelled out my name.
But oh wait, it does.
God's got success planned for me; I just haven't found it yet.