{Strong Again}Mature

They told me I was fine
As I held back the tears
"Just go to sleep
That will get rid of the fears"
So I went to bed that night
And I dreamt of a world worse 
Than the one I live in. 

They told me I was fine
That the depression would go away
I just had to stick it out
Yet another day
So I went back home
And I tried to stick it out
I failed.

They told me I was fine
That the pain would eventually heal
I can't concentrate on what they say
Because I'm afraid
The blood will seep through my jeans
And they'll see 
Just how imperfect I really am. 

They told me I was fine
That I wasn't at the end of my rope
So I'll make myself fine
I'll put cuts on top of the scars
But the pain just won't go away
And I can't do this alone anymore
I can't make it. 

I broke down the other day
I cried as my best friend asked if I had cut again
If I had cut that week
If I had cut that morning
And because I'm perfect, I couldn't lie
I said "I can't make it"
She said that it was gonna be okay.

Last night I wrote out the list of my fears
I told her my nightmares 
And the reasons for my tears
She told me it was okay 
That I wasn't fine
That I was gonna make it
That we would do this together.

She's made me promise every night since the breakdown
That I wouldn't do it again
And I haven't
But every time I fight
My hands shake
Sometimes I wonder "is it worth it?" 
But worthwhile things aren't always easy.

I went to sleep last night
Rubbing the scars on my legs
That I'm not sure will ever fully disappear
It's hard to not put perfection into my skin
But I think I can
I'm done with perfection.
But I think be strong again.

The End

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