straight girls?

this turned into a love poem somehow, sh-t

what does it mean 
when you call me babe, 
run your hands through my hair
and kiss me on the cheek?

i don't get it 
on a fundamental level

are you gay, 
are you straight?
are you something else?

jesus, why do i have so much trouble
just trying to read people

because i could probably ask you
but i won't, because i've always been 
under the impression that you'll tell me
if you're comfortable with it

and i don't want to force you to lie
or to say something when you're not ready

but man are you confusing

with your manicured nails 
that you curl around my shoulders
pull me closer
and wrap your arms around me in a hug

you do it the most 
when you're trying to tell me something
in front of your parents

tuck your face into the side of my neck, 
press your lips to my ear and whisper, 
so close i can feel your breath ghosting over my cheek

when you laugh, 
it's like a revelation - 
skirting depth with the up and down tones
that make me want to smile at you and your grin 
so wide that it stretches halfway across your face

and you twirl in dresses, 
pretty red fabric bunched around your thighs 
when you slide sideways into my lap, 
giggle and throw your arms around my shoulders, 
curl into my body like it's your second skin

i don't have the same kind of beauty 
that you posses, 
i'm just a stumbling gender-confused person 
who's trying to find the right words
and sticking with what works

but you, my darling, are ethereal. 
you're the gun in a knife fight
and the smartest person in the room

you leave lipstick kisses on my cheekbone, 
darting quick in and out, 
laughing at the red imprint 

and i do not know what to make of you

because you hold me when i cry, 
curve your body around mine
until the weight is not so heavy for a while

and i do the same for you, 
talk to the teachers you're afraid to, 
because you get nervous around authority figures
so i hide you behind my back 
and ask them questions

you talk to me like i'm the only person in the world, 
wide hands and expressive face
knocking your shoulder against mine
and smiling in the way that makes me feel 
like there's nowhere you'd rather be

and i guess i might be a little in love with you

the only problem is that i actually 
have no idea in hell 
which way you swing. 

The End

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