stop stop stop you are static noise in my head screeching dissatisfaction at meMature

don't you dare tell me i don't try, mother, 
when you look at me like i have killed your daughter

i never did 

don't you dare

she never existed in the first place

so when i flinch when you call me pretty 
and when you touch me 
don't you dare call me difficult

because i am trying 
it's the only reason i still get up every morning 
when the rock lodged in my ribcage drags me down 
nails me to the bed 
and i tear apart my flesh to wrench myself from my pseudo-womb 

an act that i regret
and never quite want to do

i am depressed and suicidal and self-destructive 
don't you dare tell me i don't try 

i try every goddamn fucking day 
and i'm sorry that isn't enough for you 
but you never loved me in the right way anyways

you loved the daughter who never existed

and there is nothing i can do to fix that. 

The End

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