that's what this feels like.
I was comfortable. It was okay.
Okay like a splinter you've grown long used to.
Okay like a wound you've had for a while that continues to throb.
Don't pull it out--
Don't pull it off, it'll bleed--
and I don't want that.
I've grown used to it. It is okay.
Okay like a bad habit you've justified.
Okay like a little lie you've allowed to grow.
Don't change it--
Don't change me, it'll hurt
that's what I don't want.
I want tolerable. It's desirable.
Desirable to leave the problem to avoid momentary pain.
Desirable to be as comfortable as I can for as long as possible.
Don't cut it out--
Don't cut it out, just leave it--
that's not an option. It's not acceptable.
Not acceptable to ignore the bigger problem for momentary enjoyment.
Not acceptable to make bad decisions to please yourself.
It's not okay--
It's not okay, you know--
And since I know
the time has come
to cut it out
cut it off
pull it out
staunch the bleeding
and let it heal