Inspired by "So. You Want To Be A Perfectionist?" by cassandramorrow.
So. You want to be an attention seeker?
Let me walk you through it.
It starts when you immerse yourself in the Natural Habitat of the attention seeker.
A place where you're invisible.
You may experience confusion, frustration, jealousy, and decreased self-esteem.
Later will come a state of numbness, where you refuse to listen to the whines and complaints of your peers. Withdrawal may even occur at this stage.
Next, you may experience some emotional torment outside of this circle.
You may find yourself sharing your feelings and fears with someone close to you, honestly seeking only guidance, and perhaps reassurance.
This will follow with your trusted friend sympathizing with you, with no interruptions, no selfish attempts to turn the attention back on themselves.
You feel like gold.
You realize you can't blame anyone for seeking this.
Like any addiction, you will seek more.
Until you are no better than those you grew weary of not long before.
You hunger to hear "Are you okay? What's wrong?"
You find yourself loose with your tongue, sharing the deepest, darkest thoughts you've ever had, just to see the empathy in their eyes.
You don't withdraw as much as you used to. And when you do withdraw, you find some way of drawing people's attention to the fact that you are withdrawing.
Nobody gets noticed if they don't speak up. So what's the point?
But, like fame, attention only lasts for those vital fifteen minutes.
You'll find yourself going to extremes just to get noticed.
It becomes all you can think about.
Amidst everything you do, you constantly wonder how much attention you will get for doing this, or because this has happened to you.
All the while, your interest in the other seekers' cry for attention is at an all-time low.
You don't care. You've trained yourself not to care.
And by the time somebody genuinely needs you, truly needs you to listen and sympathise, you discover that you no longer have the ability to care.
Warning: Expect copious amounts of guilt, regret, and self-hatred.
So. Still want to be an attention seeker?