a spoken word poem about losing myself far from home and coping with distance.
I put one foot out the door.
never thinking of looking back but my heart felt sore.
I started out slowly when I knew I had to run
as time was shot from the barrel of a gun
and sometimes its fun
but sometimes it feels like I'm no longer one with my soul.
Out of control in this whole new absurd world with different words coming from my mouth all about this history I dont understand.
Looking out the blinds of this wonderland in my hand and I'm fine cuz the rhyme soothes my mind.
But in my heart such turmoil. and the oil starts to boil and and bursts as the trouble brimming with bats coming at my shins trying to break this spirit within.
The little blue bird singing "release me!" is now screaming "decrease speed!" as time goes wizzing by in the blink of an eye. trying to get out of its cage and fly away when it could have stayed where it was safe.
If curiosity killed the cat, I wonder where I'm at on this road to death or if theres still the rest of my life ahead barely begun. we all have the yearning to run sometimes. to get away from what we know, from our homes so as to grow and let that blue bird soar across the mole hills and over mountains till we dont recognize the land were in.
But let me tell you, its harder than it looks. And no books or classes you took or friends hands you shook were enough preparation for the time you'll spend waiting to feel at home.
You'll never really know how it feels until its real and you cant reel back in the line because its been cast in the water, so deal.
I walked into the Atlantic hoping I'd float but I panicked.
I wanted the water to make me clean and wash away the person I've been but that remains to be seen.
So I'm sorting through the changes and discovering what strange is. It's me, but at least its nice to know that my spirit is free and not locked inside a cardboard box. originality is the way to be.
And as the salt crusts on my skin, I feel my soul rising within and breaking through that rust across my bust hiding my heart.
I am born a better being and seeing through new eyes and realize that change is only new scenery and the loved ones you feel like you lost are cheering you on from their own paths and never really gone.
I submerge myself completely in the ocean and give up the notion of what life is supposed to be like, sit back and enjoy the ride.