no, i'm not okay.

"DIFFICULT":
Depression causes
Ideas to run wild and
Forlorn thoughts grace this
Forsaken mind that's just
Incubation for suicide, and I'm just making
Connotations on this life because it's
Uselessness, even as i persist in
Lying perpetually
To this stupid crowd

this voice is 
a collection of broken whispers
to my friends 
because they never saw.

and people say that
i actually have a good voice
but they don't know 
that i'll never sing for them

i sing for my anger
that thrums in these 
immobilized veins
that fuels the fury

and i sing for the adrenaline
that keeps me going
after thirty-two hours awake
and stops me from sleeping

because sleep is a terrifying race
and closing my eyes
is like practice for the torture
that comes with the darkness as i succumb

don't tell me that it's okay
because it's not, it's not.
i struggle with depression
but you act like i'm just being difficult.

so no, I'm not okay
and this life is so fleeting 
and i've given up trying
to ask someone to save me

it's not worth it.

or maybe i'm just not worth it.

The End

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