Shine

About loving yourself and learning to find the amazing things within your own being.

Why, I want to ask, do I do this?

Hold myself back like an animal

meant to be caged

meant to be controlled.

Why do I look in the mirror,

at my pale skinned body, and tell myself

“don’t marvel

don’t be proud

don’t fall in love with yourself.”

I’ve taught myself

that snow-covered skin

is vulnerable and weak.

That I should wish

for sun-kissed limbs

and for bikini bodies.

And I only found out recently,

that if I want a bikini body,

I should put a bikini

on my body.

Why do I not let my full self shine?

I am a person who has grown,

who loves with their whole heart,

and leaves nothing for herself

to love.

When I tell myself,

“Don’t be proud

don’t be full

hold back, and let the other people shine like stars.

Let people love you,

because you let them shine.

Because you make your light so dim,

to leave people with dark space

to fill,

when your light

should be shining

like theirs.”

Why do I criticize myself

for my body.

When I look and say

those thighs are too big

those curves could be more

your breasts are too microscopic

to be proud of you.

I hide myself

in my own damn lies.

Hiding myself

from the greatness

that I believe

should not shine.

 

No.

 

I will not do this anymore.

I will not deny my snow skin

and the fact that I can magically camouflage myself in winter

in the most beautiful way.

That, in fact,

the thing that people want to see the most

is my light shining

where they can see it

from millions of light years away.

Where all he wants me to say,

all he wants me to realize

when I refuse to admit

through the cloud of trying

to fit with the other girls

and their insecurities,

is that those thighs

deserve to be large.

Those curves

were made

to be YOUR curves,

and they are,

in every way,

curves of my mother

and my great grandmother

and now my proud curves.

That my breasts

don’t need to be any bigger

because my chest already

has enough work to do

by holding my gigantic,

loving heart.

And that I,

and any other person on this earth

have the right

to shine.

The End

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