Viola and the Sarcastic Voice

The parts in bold/italic are spoken by Sarcastic Voice... otherwise known as me.

 VIOLA: I left no ring with her. What means this lady?

She thinks you like her, DUH!

Fortune forbid my outside have not charmed her. She made good view of me; indeed, so much That, as methought, her eyes had lost her tongue, For she did speak in starts distractedly. She loves me sure; the cunning of her passion Invites me in this churlish messenger.

No kidding dipstick. She just handed you a RING, what else is she doing but proposing? Jees how thick are you?

None of my lord's ring? Why, he sent her none.

That's because his ex still has it.

I am the man. If it be so, as 'tis, Poor lady, she were better love a dream.

Better to love a chimpanzee then a dolt like you I say.

Disguise, I see thou art a wickedness Wherein the pregnant enemy does much.

Pregnant enemy? Are you pregant! Gods above that's new!

How easy is it for the proper false In women's waxen hearts to set their forms! Alas, our frailty is the cause, not we, For such as we are made of, such we be.

Honestly, what are you a chauvinist? Call yourself a woman, BUCK UP GIRL!!!

How will this fadge? My master loves her dearly;

You only just noticed? As if the moaning and bewailing wasn't enough to point it out like a big flashing neon sign.

And I (poor monster) fond as much on him; And she (mistaken) seems to dote on me.

You need counselling my friend. You're life is just one huge pile of Dog Poopie.

What will become of this? As I am man, My state is desperate for my master's love.

So you're gay? No wait, you're a girl... you're confusing me.

As I am woman (now alas the day!), What thriftless sighs shall poor Olivia breathe? O Time, thou must untangle this, not I; It is too hard a knot for me t' untie.

And that's new? You're all fingers and thumbs anyway.

The End

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