ever since was little I felt fat.
but i'm warning you right now, this doesn't have a faery-tale ending.
I still feel fat.
in gym class,
if I ever got chosen for a partner
(which happened 1 in a 100)
I would think that it was because they'd
look good next to me, that I was so fat that I would
make them feel good, that they did it because they benefited
from it somehow.
and I still believe that. I can't accept that
my few friends want me for who I am,
and this is really hard for me.
I need you to understand, this isn't
something that I went to a shrink for,
that i'm cured, confident.
I still feel fat, insecure.
I have never told a single
soul. well, before writing this.
this is completely real. this entire poem is
truth, i'm sad, embarrassed to say.
I want so badly to have someone who
I wholeheartedly believe loves me,
for who I am, with no strings attached.
and I don't.
and I feel so small.