self-doubt

ever since  was little I felt fat.

but i'm warning you right now, this doesn't have a faery-tale ending.

I still feel fat.

 

in gym class,

if I ever got chosen for a partner

(which happened 1 in a 100)

 

I would think that it was because they'd

look good next to me, that I was so fat that I would

make them feel good, that they did it because they benefited

 

from it somehow.

and I still believe that. I can't accept that

my few friends want me for who I am,

 

and this is really hard for me.

I need you to understand, this isn't

something that I went to a shrink for,

 

that i'm cured, confident.

I still feel fat, insecure.

I have never told a single

 

soul. well, before writing this.

this is completely real. this entire poem is

truth, i'm sad, embarrassed to say.

 

I want so badly to have someone who

I wholeheartedly believe loves me,

for who I am, with no strings attached.

 

and I don't.

I can't.

and I feel so small.

The End

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