if you just search a moment longer
you will find pieces of
what was once a whole person
that existed before i could even form memories--

now, i am far from intact
not only does my near-failing body
betray me, but plants ideas of
perfection and beauty far too unattainable.

if i am included in your definition of
lovely, healthy, secure--please
reconsider. maybe at some point
my blood will stay in my veins
where it truly belongs--but now
it remains unconvinced, rebellious

i feel conquered
like i lost the war of
beauty, genetics, life
serving the enemy until
there is a resurgence of hope
that may never come

please--stop searching now.
there is nothing left to see.

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