return of darkness

Here i am... back in this place again,
everyone hates me, i'm falling apart
life hurts too much, to carrying on living,
no one to turn too, i'm stuck all alone.

Don't really know, if i know who i am,
not sure i like it at all
Lost and alone, i'm scared of myself
who i'll become, what i'll do to the world.

I'm hurting inside, more than ever before,
don't know how to say it, to show it, no more
Wish i could cut, cut my pain away
but it'll just bring it back for another day.

I just wish i could go back to hiding again,
wish i could live inside my own head again
wish i could just make this hurt go away
leave me alone even just for a day

i'm losing myself in waves of hurt
can't see it's all blurred,
can't talk through the tears
i'm feeling this pain and it's ruining my world

They say this is progress
having feelings at all
but to me it just feels like
they're watching me fall

I'm letting you down
no matter what you do
i insist on feeling like this,
living like this

and I know that you care
in your own little ways
but i'm scared that my mess
is too much to bear

and i'm really quite lost
at this moment in time
i'm not sure that i'll ever
really really feel fine

because that's just not for me
your jolly little world
i gave up my chance
when he let it take hold

and i'm hot and i'm cold and
i'm falling apart
from this weight in my chest
and this dread in my heart

and theres tears everywhere
and there's blood coming out
and there's pain all around
and theres no need to shout

but i'm here and i'm there
i'm all over the place
and i just cannot cope
anymore, with the waste

of a life, of MY life
of my heart and my soul
with the mess that he's made
with myself in this hole.

The End

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