Being Yourself After Months of Pushing The Wrong Buttons Will Never Come Easy But God Knows You're Piecing Yourself TogetherMature

“How can someone
just not be there
The same way
they can tell you
they love you
and be lying
through their teeth.
the same way
they can tell you
about every star
they find
on your skin
staring through
their eyelids.
the same way
they can clutch your wrists
and bait their breath
against your lips.
the same way
they can tell you
they love you
when they don’t
and they haven’t
for a while.
People can leave
after they wrap themselves
in your skin
and your love,
telling you
they hear
every word
you say
not listening
at all-
they leave
like the sun sets
and the moon rises
only coming back
to your bloody fingertips
from digging your shallow grave
and burying yourself
in the sea.
they come back
and they don’t want
the same love
they gave away,
they come back
wreaking tides
and shredding lungs
to break you
and again.
They’ll paint pictures
and sing songs
and dance in bed
next to you,
they’ll laugh
the same laugh
you’re drowning in
and you swear
up and down
they’re everything
and more
but to them
you’re a flower
in their hands
they’re plucking
the petals off of
Time passes
every time
they leave
and you heal
little by little
new shades of blue
and red
and every color
they were to you
come into your life
on skylines
and mountains
and 3am restaurants
with people
you’ll always
be grateful for
when your bruises fade
and you become
yourself again
they’ll come back
and these people
they’ll spit venom
with claws out
and shove them
back into hiding
he’ll lie
to the beat
of his heart
and laugh
like it wasn’t
your heart
he had crushed
in the palm
of his hand
at 6:42am
telling you
he tried
to love you
he’ll smile
like it wasn’t you
he had hurt
kicking you
into the dust
with manipulation
and lies
like he hadn’t
every part of you
that you want back.
He’ll be himself
like he always has been
to the tune
of the rain
against your ribcage
but one day
you’ll be yourself
to new eyes
and a new laugh
you’ll be yourself
not quite whole
but you’re getting there
and god knows
the people you have
are there
for better
or for worse.

The End

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