We feel at home when our feet are cracking against the pavement, climbing up steel and pounding against rocksMature

“Nurture yourself
in ways
only you know how.”
That’s where
the reckless endangerment
comes in.
That’s where
I feel alive
and whole.
The mountains
and the water
and the ground beneath my feet
at three am
Whoever I’m with
anywhere
any of those times
always say
they can always tell
that’s when
I’m genuine
I’m real
and I’m whole.
They say
that I’m most honest
then.
More me
than I was
six hours ago
laughing at a stupid joke
I don’t know
where they get that
But
they’re probably right.
I sit on the rocks
and stare at the skyline
with two of my best friends
talking quietly
six feet away
watching me
like any second
I might jump
but knowing
that for a moment
I’m fine
I’m whole.
The ones
that reach a hand out
in case I need something
to hold
or something to steady me
when I laugh
and nearly trip over myself
on the broken bridges
Dancing around playgrounds
and trying not to get caught
because it’s way past curfew
At the end of the night
admitting
that this is what we’re supposed to do
who we’re supposed to be
not wanting
to waste any more time
or any more of ourselves
on the wrong people
and the wrong places
Feeling more at home
with people
than we do
in our own beds.
I can’t heal
unless I’m outside
feet against the pavement
sneaking out
and sneaking around
trying to be more
exist more
live more
love more.
Even
if it’s only for a couple hours
we love who we are
and we love existing.

The End

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