My name is Ben and I lost one eye
When I got into a fight with another guy.
Well, I may be wrong, but Billie told you that
And it wasn't a guy, but the janitor's cat.
Her name is Truly and she's really okay
But I caught her in a real bad mood that day.
She was stalking my buddy, a gerbil named Joe,
And he may be a tame one but he's never slow.
''Look, Truly,'' I said, ''If you kill that gerb
It'll get you into trouble with your master, Herb.
He'll lose his janitorial position, straight off,
And he'll probably succumb to his chronic cough.
Do you want to be responsible for that, Truly?''
She pretended to be scratching at an errant flea,
Then she whipped her paw towards me with the claws unsheathed
Caught my left eye on the end of them and thus, bequeathed
Me, the nasty disability I have right now
I don't bear any grudges, but it's a real cow
That it stopped my education and it's not my fault
But it's all in the past, so let's consign it to the vault.