Dysphoria is ...Mature

Dysphoria is ...
Feeling no association with my skin
Looking in the mirror and being disgusted
Wishing I could tear off this foreign skin
Skin I've lived in wrongly my whole life

Words not even aimed at me
Can be the worst triggers
I'm an oversensitive mess
Sorry I'm being quiet right now

People joke around me
All I feel is barbed wire on my skin
I clutch my chest instinctively and cringe
I hate the parts of me that aren't right

I envy the people who live at peace with their bodies
You might be fat, or have a bad smile
But at least your gender is right
At least no one will judge you for your lack of the right genitalia

Dysphoria can be triggered by anything
The most innocent of words
My brain can twist so easily
Happy memories are blurred and ruined

All those years of wondering what was wrong
All that time of feeling out of place
Sometimes I want to go back to that
Because since realising the truth

All I've felt
Without refrain
Is dysphoria

The End

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