Two YearsMature

Two Years 22/8/2012

It was two years ago
On a cold winter's night
Christmas had come and gone
But the festivities meant none

As I lay on my bed
Pillow the dampest it's ever been
I stare at the ceiling
A strange calm fell over me

I'd considered this before
How easy it would be
To walk into traffic hordes
But never had it been so eerily simple
The pills lying in the next room

I'm not sure how it happened
But suddenly it was like being slapped
The small part of me
That refused to give up

It yelled at me
Told me never to consider it
And in the seconds that passed
Clarity hit me
I was in serious trouble
I had to get this sorted
I needed help

I needed proper help

Two years later
My parents are finally getting it
I no longer let this thing rule me
I stand up and tell it
It won't bring me down

One moment of clarity
But I can only imagine
How many don't get to see
Before they do an act
That can never be taken back

Someone once asked me
Would you change something in your past?
I guess I have my pick
But to do that
Well it would change everything

For whatever reason my will's too strong
I wonder if that would still go on
If something different were to occur
And besides
At the end of a miserable day
No matter the words I may say
I don't want to be anyone
But me

The End

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