(i wanted you back but i don't now)

i'm not saying it's your fault, i'm just saying that i was young and you were far too careless

it's just that, well, 
for a long time you weren't there. 

physically there, sure, 
but never fully. 

you left me to make my own lunches in grade 2, 
stopped caring when i went to bed
or when i woke up

mother, you were consumed, 
obsessed with the "mistake"
you'd made with the Make-Up Criminal,
her hollow ribs and gaunt cheeks

and i always knew, 
tugged at the hem of your pants, 
trying to tell you that 
she isn't eating, listen to me, please listen to me 
and you never did hear me
until you seemed to realize it yourself

she's on antidepressants now, 
probably mix badly with the alcohol
that her breath reeks of at night

but the point is, 
you can't try to just
re-insinuate yourself back into my life

you made your choice. 
now i'm making mine. 

The End

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