Pain Of DisasterMature

This poem describes my deepest pain with my mate and our love. The disaster of a true relationship.

 

Time flies me by, my days be so long and half the time I'm in my room... I lay in there in silence....

Thinking about my life...my days. My time.... Damn, only if I could change what’s mine...

Everything hurts, can't you see, can't you feel, this Pain of Disaster I'm in,

My mind is corrupt, my thoughts scrambled up, and presence so cold...

Only if I could just do something, save it, heal it, renew it and not wound it....

something new happens everyday to me and I end up feeling a certain way...

Why me, why this? Why now? Its too strong, what to do when I'm all alone...

alone in this room, alone in my thoughts and alone in this world...

The shit I'm in and going through can't be defined in words, no, not at all...

This Pain of Disaster is there, you feel it, I feel it, we feel it, you get it.. No, do you?

I'm so tired of the same bull every other the day, the same nothing I get in a different way..

I don't deserve this, I shouldn't be feeling like this but if you knew and if you could really feel me, you'd

be right here next to me... fixing me... solving me and loving me... you can't do that, its too strong,

she's to bold...

My guards are coming up very slowly but I’m right there to closing it and never opening up again. I don't

want it up, I don't want it touched, it doesn't exist so leave me alone.... Something got a hold of me and it want

let go and I believe it wants me alone....

The further I go, the deeper i seek, the more I become in pain.. I'm tired of eating this.. I'm tired of seeking this...

Give me a break...what more do I ask for... or is it just that I'm not what you chosen for.... I toss, I turn, can't sleep at night... I punt, I kick and it seems like I just can't win this fight....

I'm letting go now and I'm sitting back to watch your every moment and move... action speaks louder than words and

most things or worth crying for better yet dieing for, don't get it twisted, I didn't say for who or what... I'm smart...

certain things make sense to me and certain things try to get over me...

This Pain of Disaster is a mindset of my thoughts and feelings and its time i just go back to being who I am, who I was six years ago, pure and brand new...its whats best for me and I know it'll work for you...

As of now no one knows of me, I don't exist...all because of this Pain of Disaster I didn't choose to be......

The End

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