I sit here
day after day
hour after hour
minute after minute
phasing in and out
Trying to gain a grasp of my reality
Deciphering this surreal dream
That I seem to not take a part in
I find myself here
But not here
Physically present
Yet mentally absent
I sit here
attempting to force my thoughts
out of the void
I know what my reality is
But I don't know who I am anymore
These thoughts are my own
And they belong to a stranger
I reminisce on my life
And the memories feel as if they intrude foreign territory
These thoughts begin to clog my every waking moment
And my every waking moment
is spent in a world that is not reality
What is it that I lack
What is left for me to lack
when I have full clarity of my conscious
Why is it still so hard to pick myself up and move
Why do the things I know become a struggle for me to do
And exactly where did my downfall begin
These are thoughts that I've had before
Thoughts that I've conquered
But this enemy refuses to stay down
Wave after wave after wave
Slowly over taking the realm
The depth of my conscious has become soaked
And the beaches are slowly crumbling away
Succumbing to the tides
I see a broken mirror
Or perhaps my eyes are just distorted
I can't see anything anymore
And a pain as made it's home in the center of my chest
Growing with every beat my heart takes
And I close the box tighter and tighter
Refusing to let anything come near it
So tight that I no longer know what my heart desires anymore
Will this end
No, it probably won't ever end
Even when my eyes are bloodshod
From the knocking inside my skull
Or when my chest explodes
From the expansion of the pain
It will never end
Because there is a darkness that won't allow it

I won't allow it...

The End

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