My first shot at some kind of spoken word.
You see, I’m overemotional.
It’s my badge and I wear it proudly displayed on my forehead
Like the banner of a winning team when in reality
It’s the emblem of a broken heart.
And I’ll blame you for it all because it’s exactly what you need,
A little wake up call to remember what you did to me.
I mean, come on, I was just seventeen and had no idea what I should see in a man.
I thought the butterflies and whispered promises were perfection
And the way you told me I looked sexy when I wore dresses
Made me feel on top of the fucking world.
After all I never felt like that before
I was just the awkward, tall girl that was always just the friend
That boys would tell their dirty secrets to.
I was just the girl that saw the good in you
And wanted to pick up the broken pieces and maybe fix you.
I know, it’s funny. I thought I could fix you.
You, a person so broken, it baffled me how you could stand without shattering.
And me, I’m a soul that holds scars you could never begin to comprehend.
It only took seven to give into your chaos.
That’s not something I’m proud of.
In fact, no one knows except you.
Only because you were the begging me to let you keep going when I began to cry
And in the end, I thought it was because you loved me.
I thought you loved me.
Weeks later I saw two blue lines
Seven days after you dumped me.
I told you I got an abortion on that hot summer day to see if you felt anything
To get a rise out of you
When in truth, it simply died inside me and you walked away.
So here I am, spread out bare for the world to see.
The girl that wanted to fix you
The girl that wanted to be with you.
I can’t help but think that you didn’t love me for me
Most likely, you’ve forgotten me.
Now I’m just stuck thinking it was just for my virginity.