'Here's a little tale...'

Just about everyone who drives, has owned a 'lemon' or two in the past, maybe even drives one now? I have owned numerous 'winter-beaters' over the years, but, there was one in particular that stood out amongst the others;
Old Betsy!
These are the lyrics about that car, and my 'ode to jalopies'!

Old Betsy
©1996 Nick Robinson

Here's a little tale
About a car I bought from hell
And exactly how it came to pass
So clean on out your ears
Pay attention, and listen clear
Because it all happened so fast...

See I turned on the ignition
And in it's own rendition
It made a sound just like spinning wheels
But it soon became a joke
When everyone looked and saw no smoke
It was just the fan belts making that squeal

Then I had to fake a laugh
As the carb coughed up gas
And the tail pipe let out a big bang
But what else could I do
Everything in the motor was brand new
And the body'd served it's time on this land

'Cause the motor went 'Chugga'
And the pedal said: 'Uh, uh!'
And she rolled on over to a stop
And it shoulda been quite funny
But I was clean outta money
'Cause Old Betsy'd eaten what little I got

And soon steam came pumpin
And man was it somethin
To see the cloud that poured from the rad
It was then it became quite clear
It was time to hide and disappear
Behind my windows made by Mr. Glad

Now, it was then I got this feelin
As my head hits the ceiling
Old Betsy ain't gonna go anymore
And as I pulled out the car keys
The A/C suddenly sneezed
And she blew me straight outta the door

Now as I got up and walked away
This final word I would say
'Thanks!' (and I think you know what I mean)
Then in one massive flash
All my worries finally passed
As she blew herself into smithereens

'Cause the motor went 'Chugga'
And the pedal said: 'Uh, uh!'
And she rolled on over to a stop
And it shoulda been quite funny
But I was clean outta money
'Cause Old Betsy'd eaten what little I got

Now this was my car Betsy
And I use the term 'car' loosely
If only for the motor and 4 wheels
But 'cha know, next time I go car huntin
Man I'll tell you somethin
I hope I find a much better deal

Yeah 'cause Old Betsy...
Well, she did chugga-lug a little while
But when it came down to her last quarter mile
Her get-up-and-go wouldn't get
And though she did get me around
She quickly drove herself into the ground
And said farewell in a way I'll never forget

'Cause the motor went 'Chugga'
And the pedal said: 'Uh, uh!'
And she rolled on over to a stop
And it shoulda been quite funny
But I was clean outta money
'Cause Old Betsy'd eaten what little I got

The End

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