Oh, My Darling

This is not a happy poem. This is a poem about confusion, and something which isn't love but isn't not.

Your name is like honey
On my tongue -
Funny thing is,
I've never liked honey.
But I try it, again and again,
Just to see what people see
In something so sweet.
Almost bittersweet.
Oh, darling.
I miss you, I need you,
And when I bleed,
I bleed you.
When did I end up like this?
When did we end up like this?
Like paint and thunder
And like madness
And like pleads.
I die a thousand deaths
Right at your knees.
I hate you; I hate you
Like the fire hates
The water which pours down
In spouts and spurts.
But at the same time
You make me so happy
Like I'm jumping off buildings
With wings.
I see not a care about me
When I look at you -
So what is this I hear
and what is this I feel?
Is it not care? Is it?
I don't know. I can't -
- inhale -
breath. Not with you.
Never with you.
All my thoughts
Are thunderstruck
When I see you;
They stop, stare.
They aren't aware.
And incoherency
Is confusing and strange,
Just like these words
Which stumble away from me.
But. But.
But.
But I cry bittersweet tears
Because I never wanted you
- Not like this
Not like pain and hunger
and not like sadness
and not like need.
But there were so many seconds
So many moments
When we’d lose our breaths
Laughing like snowflakes
trembling
on your eyelashes;
and I wouldn’t want you
But you were still mine.

The End

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