Ode To DespairMature

Can they all see through my disguise?
That the smile I wear is just a lie
That although on the outside I look fine
Inside I just want to die

When will I wake from this nightmare?
The nightmare of my life
The pain that builds inside me
Its simple release by a knife

Pouring down my arms and cheeks
Relief mixes with regret
A madness that eats at me from within
A madness that won't let me forget

The way I choose to deal with this
The way I'm starting to crave
That's shunned me from my closest friends
Just because it's my life they wanted to save

The bunch of bloody hypocrites
They've all tried something too
But now it's come to me
I'm the one in the wrong, not you

The chaos that's burning inside me
Is ebbing away my soul
A darkness where my heart used to be
A darkness as black as coal

But if only there was a light
To fill this growing ache
Maybe all this pain and hatred
Would be easier to take

Does anyone even notice?
Or do they not even care...
Where do I go from here?
From this dead end of despair.

The End

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