O Divinity

Written 4.15.15

O Divinity,
You are my most beautiful letdown.
For years past, I have offered you my sweet sacrifices,
The blood of my veins, the fruit of my labors,
That of which you thrive on.
But as the years progressed, I have choked myself with the thousand words I want to say to you,
And today I am undoing this rope necklace
That you or I have tied around my neck.

O Divinity,
I thought it was a halo that brought the light about your head,
I thought it was the goodness within you that shed the light of heaven on your bony shoulders,
Believed that it was the goodness in you that made such a human creature so angelic;
You made me want to sacrifice everything to be with you—
To serve you and wait on you
Was an opportunity that rivaled Gametes’.

O Divinity,
I thought it was your god-like status
That gave you this heavenly crown.
But rather, it was the light of the hellish fires behind you—
The fires that burned my home, scorched my skin, and devastated my soul—
That gave you this saintly glow.

O Divinity,
I placed my trust in you, placed my tattered soul within your grasp,
And believed, stupidly,
That you could fix it with your manipulative, mechanical hands,
Hands that could not even fix themselves.

O Divinity,
That trust was ruined,
With the wrapping of Ace bandages.

O Divinity,
Your ignoring me will not break me.
I have faced challenges far worse than your silent treatment,
Than your cold shoulder,
Than your distancing yourself
After my human confession
That was somehow strong enough
To topple you from your throne.

You, my sweet Divinity,
Are not the god you believe to be.

Beg for mercy, O Divinity,
Because I am not the human you believe I am—
I am the flood that washes you from your throne,
The flood that lasts forever,
That destroys,
And cleanses,
And rebuilds.

O Divinity,
I will not worship you.

The End

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