Nothing But Time
I can hear a clock ticking faintly in the background
It almost gets swallowed by the white noise
Some call it silence
But I can hear the white noise hiss
I only hear it when I’m out and alone,
Talking to the back off a skull,
When my nails could beckon and beg by clasping collars
Oh I want so much more than not to be alone
So I walk towards a face, stare into a soul,follow a conversation.
I know belonging
The circles go round and round
But they are not infinite.
And certainly not intimate.
What makes one kindred I could not say.
Every facet I have picked apart and re-arranged
If there is something to know I have learned it.
Some how I end up worst off and worn
I know I have tried too hard
And yet it’s not enough
I could have tried harder
I am alone and In some form and fashion, I am wrong
I’ve made so many mistakes
I feel as if I can’t function
Slumped on a window ledge and looking out
Because I can not walk
I can not get closer, closer to contact
I want to see a lover’s face
A lover’s reveal
A blooming from common to commitment
Holding back to holding on for dear life
And all the other things I’ve build up in my mind.
I am ready to be loved
Impatience plagues me.
They say there’s nothing but time
But that’s what I fear
Nothing but time…nothing but a wait
A wait for what?
Will it just slip through my hands like sand and shift through my toes?
I’ve walked through worse
I’ve felt the mire
But I just don’t know how much longer I can wait.