not to stay

there was a time

when you were gone

I'd lie awake and play

those sweet songs in my head over and over again

until they lulled me to sleep.

There was a time

when you would not turn out the light

before whispering my name

when being apart from me was a shame

when you needed me in order to breathe.


There was a time

when you loved me.


But now I pack my bags and go

it's too late and you'll never know

I loved you so

but by the time you figured yourself out enough

to come back

I am gone.

I wish I was that strong

I want to wait for you forever

until my skin withers

and my hair turns grey

but I can't wait for you another day

I can't wait for something dead

to stand and breathe on me

this is my journey

and I must go it alone

though I wish I could lie by your grave 

your decay is contagious to my soul

and I will not walk no more

I must run.

On broken knees

brittle from all the nights you knelt with me

marry me

say you love me

promise me

and we did

but the promises

that should have been rocks

were leaves 

in a storm of wind

and when dawn broke

they were scattered upon the road

I tread as I walk away.


I can't miss you today.


I've been missing you since I met you

and you told me not to stay.


The End

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